We’re going to Dunkin

It’s a crappy, rainy Friday and I have the day off work. Sleeping in my usual spot on the couch since I can’t stand hubby’s snoring, I am awake enough to hear the girls getting ready for school but I have no intention of getting up. My kids are freaking awesome and can get ready for school on their own, even making their own lunch. They are raised to be independent and not rely on anyone to get things done for them, which will allow them to grow into productive, confident women who understand the value of hard work and aren’t entitled assholes like many people. I hear them shout that they are running to the bus and I mumble my usual “text me when you are on the bus”. Part of me loves that I am a parent in the age of technology where I can track my kid’s location and annoy them with texts and calls whenever I want. Another part of me doesn’t understand much of the technology out there, so I worry about the creepers and what my kids are really doing on the internet – but that’s a post for another day! Now that my kids are out the door, I can wake up and be a creepy stalker to make sure they get on the bus. Letting them know I am watching to make sure they get on the bus will only set unrealistic expectations like I am willing to drive them to the bus stop or help them get ready, and we definitely don’t want that. For those of you thinking that I am a terrible mom, let me inform you that their bus stop is 6 houses away and I can see them from the driveway. Also, your kids will probably grow up to be lazy and entitled from your hovering, so you should think about that before you judge. I run to the bathroom to pee and as I’m walking back to throw on slippers and stalk them down the street I hear my phone ding. I am expecting to see the words “bus” or “on bus” since my teenager is very elaborate in her texts but instead I see a full sentence, which immediately alerts me something is wrong. The kids had just made it to the end of the street and their bus drove right by! Dammit! Now I have to be responsible and drive them to school. This setback has scrambled their brains and they actually expect me to pick them up at the end of the street! Crazy talk! As I pull up at the end of the street and the kids get in, my first words are “We are going to Dunkin! Momma needs coffee!”.

The bright side to all this is that I get to hear my girls chatter as I drive. My 7-year-old always has some good topics to talk about. Today’s topic was how her sister’s hair was really fluffy and maybe if she was allergic to hair like Johnny’s dad who is bald, her hair wouldn’t be so fluffy. Seriously, where do kids come up with these things??? As usual, my oldest just laughs and onward we go. As we turn into the DD parking lot, there is a goose in the middle of the road. Many of you know that like the Honey badger, geese don’t give a shit. We have to wait for the bastard to cross the road. While we are waiting, my crazy-smart teenager tells me that she can tell it’s an American Goose. Hm… interesting! Of course now I need to know how she knows this so I can share this with others in the future, and I proceed to ask her how she know’s it’s an American goose and not a Canadian goose. Her response was dead on and factual, “Because Canadians are more polite”. Yes, my 14-year-old is smarter than I am. After getting my bucket of coffee to keep me awake, and maybe I did get a donut, since I usually start my diets tomorrow, I run over the curb (thank god for big SUVs) and on we go to school to battle the other parents in the drop-off line. Again, a post about the annoying parents in the drop off line is for another day! For now, I am going to attempt to control my ADHD today and hope to actually be productive at home. Happy Friday all!

bucket coffee


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